I Believe…

June 16, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 0 Comments

I believe today will be a good day because God made it.

~ Psalm 118:24 ” This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

I believe I have all I need to accomplish His purpose in my life.

~ 2 Peter 1:3  “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

I believe nothing is too difficult for me because nothing is impossible for the God who lives in me.

~ Philippians 4:13  “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

I believe even the biggest challenges in my life can be redeemed for my good and His glory.

~ Romans 8:28  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

I believe I am loved just as I am and called to become even more like Jesus every day.

~ Hebrews 10:14  “For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.”

I believe that He isn’t finished with me yet and is able to complete  the good work begun in me.

~ Philippians 1:6  “..being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

I believe I am an over comer, more than a conqueror, and nothing will keep God from carrying out His plans!

~ Romans 8:32-39 “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:

 “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor     the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Borrowed with heartfelt gratitude for this beautiful message from:

Holley Gerth

Heart to Heart with Holley

Devotionals, I Believe...
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Challenge 2 – Waiting on a Prayer

June 14, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 5 Comments

Everybody needs prayer. Everybody needs support. Everybody, whether they act like it or not,  needs to know that someone cares. Everybody. Everyone. Every single person you see every single day. All of them.

Over the next year, my goal is to reach out to more people. I want to be sensitively aware of everyone around me and I want to make a difference whenever I possibly can.

My first challenge, People Watching, was very good exercise in observation and reaction. I learned a lot about myself, I learned to push my comfort levels, and I also learned that taking that step outside of my box toward that personal interaction and recognition of others is always worth it.

My next challenge is something I’ve been thinking about doing for a long time…

Hospital and doctor’s office waiting rooms are full of people who are in need. At the doctor’s office I always see mothers with sick babies, older couples helping each other through the door… I’m sure when people see me sitting in my OBGYN waiting room amongst a room full of pregnant women, they have no idea that I suffer from infertility and that I am sitting there hoping and praying with all that I am that this appointment will be different…At the hospital, I’ve seen families waiting for loved ones to come out of surgery, in the ER I’ve seen people with neck injuries, sick grandmas…the point being that people in waiting rooms are often scared and in a vulnerable state.

Challenge 2:

Part 1 – Choose two waiting rooms to visit. Plan on spending at least three hours there. Pray for every single person in the waiting room during that time period.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him. ~1 John 5:14-15

Part 2 – When you are lead to do so, approach the family or individual you are drawn to, hold their hands, and say a prayer with them.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ~ Romans 8:26

“‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.'” ~ Mark 11:22-25

Never have a doubt in your heart. Be a messenger for God and a constant vigil for those in need.

Go forth and make a difference!

2 - Waiting for a Prayer, Challenges
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It’s Prayer Vigil Friday! 06/10/11

June 11, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 1 Comment

I’m a day late getting this posted and I am so sorry.

The past week was excruciating for some in the world of infertility. A  friend who goes by the name MaternalTurtle found out that her baby didn’t have a heartbeat at 15 weeks. They induced delivery, and she lost her baby. Another online friend, LeLeIsMe, was 20 weeks pregnant with twins. Her body began showing signs of delivery. They were unable to stop it. She lost her babies. This is the second set of twins she has lost at this same point of her pregnancy. The one and only question they are asking right now is WHY? Why does this have to happen? We cannot provide answers, but we can provide support. We can shed tears for their little ones who were loved beyond belief during their precious existence. We can pray for healing for their broken hearts, we can pray for comfort for their heavy shoulders, and we can pray for strength for the steps that lay ahead of them. Please pray for these women and for all of those who are grieving the loss of a loved one today.

Jesus had extraordinary compassion. He felt sadness and he wept. That deep compassion and sadness extends to us when we mourn our own losses and face our own struggles. It took me a long time to realize that I will never be sad and all alone because Jesus loves me so much that he’s sad for me when I’m sad – he mourns my infertility along with me the days I just can’t keep my chin up. It’s a wonderful feeling to think that perhaps he is sitting right alongside me, whispering to me, “I’m so sorry sweet girl. I’m so sorry you’re sad. But there is a plan. There is hope.”

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. ~Matthew 5:4…There must be a time of mourning, there will be a time of anger, but comfort will come.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.~ John 16:33

Please offer up a prayer of thanks for Lily. Last week we prayed that her iodine levels would be low enough for the go head with her next IVF. Praise God, her levels had dropped to normal and all tests showed very good results. Please pray for Lily and for all women who are going through the IVF process. Keep their bodies healthy and responding well to the drugs. Pray that they have all of the support and love they need at home and from family and friends.

Yes, I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor ruling spirits, nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us, nothing below us, nor anything else in the whole world will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:38-39

Please offer up another prayer of thanks for Jay. After deciding that this would be their last IVF attempt, her appointment following a most miserable two week wait verified that her beta levels were high enough to confirm pregnancy. I cried tears of joy when I saw her twitter post. Please pray that her body remains strong!

Tell the heavens and earth to celebrate and sing! Command every mountain to join in song! ~Isaiah 49:13

I realized that one of the issues facing  many infertile couples has been missing from these prayer requests. That issue is male infertility. Infertility is not gender biased. It doesn’t care if you’re a man or a woman. Infertility falls on the couple, not just the individual.  For me personally, because it is my body that is the infertile half of my marriage, I have always tended to concentrate on the women who are unable to conceive. But I would like to take a moment and pray for the men who are suffering from infertility as well. Pray that they have strong, supportive women in their lives who love them and who are there to cheer them on through their own treatments.

Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding.  Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Please pray for those who are about to begin or who are smack in the middle of their two week wait. Pray that we not lose our heads, nor our hearts, and that we continue to find the strength and courage to make it through every obsessive moment of our roller coaster two weeks.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~Philippians 4:6

All you who put your hope in the Lord be strong and brave. ~ Psalm 31:24

Put some time aside today, even if it’s a few minutes or 20 minutes. Close the door, close your eyes, dim the lights, light a candle, whatever you need to do to focus and spend some prayerful time with God. Pray for women you know, pray for women you don’t know. Then take some time and pray for yourself. Spend some time reflecting over the past week, over any frustrations you’ve had, whatever you’ve been putting off talking over with God. Get angry if you need to. Cry if you need to. Smile and give thanks if you need to!

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16

This scripture truly is what Prayer Vigil Friday is all about:

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” ~Matthew 18:19-20

Let’s join in one big prayer all day today!

June 10 2011, Prayer Vigil Friday
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It’s Prayer Vigil Friday! 06/03/11

June 3, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 0 Comments

I’m so excited that another Friday is here – A day to pray for yourself and for your fellow sisters, and unite with women all over the world in prayer.

Therefore encourage one another and edify one another, just as you are doing. ~1 Thessalonians 5:11

Please pray for Lily. After months of advice to change her diet, vitamins and supplements and sticking to it very carefully, she has been told that her iodine levels may now be too high as a result and that she may not be able to proceed with next week’s scheduled IVF. Pray that her body will settle back down to normal levels very soon, pray that her spirit will not be broken by this frustrating development. Please pray for all women who have so carefully and so diligently researched and read and planned and changed every aspect of their lives in the hopes of finding just the right combination of every element of life to become pregnant.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.~Psalm 46:1-3

Please pray for Ginger. Her first IUI was unsuccessful and she and her husband are gearing up for the second. Please pray that her body responds well to the fertility drugs and that no fibroids develop as a result. Pray that God’s hands rest on this couple’s shoulders and give them peace, comfort and guidance as they continue in their journey. Pray for all women and all couples who are preparing to take their next step, to start their next round and are looking ahead with hope. Infertility can be such a wet blanket that settles itself on your world and feels so suffocating at times. It adds such stress and frustration to our lives and sometimes it feels like a third alien being has just plopped itself down between you and your spouse. Please pray that the blankets are lifted and that these individuals and couples find that sparkle in their eyes again when they think to the future and to what the next step will be in their journey.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.~1 Corinthians 13:7

Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits — who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. ~Psalm 103:1-5

Please pray for the women who are coming out of their two week wait with devastation. Pray for all of those whose hearts fell to the bathroom floor when their pregnancy test resulted in a negative, or when they received that phone call from their doctor giving them the bad news. It’s so hard on one’s heart to go through month after month of your heart stopping the moment you hold your breath to pick up that pregnancy test on the counter, to your world ending at the sight of the negative result. But it’s the dream of kissing baby toes and washing sippy cups that pick us up off the floor and give us hope for the next month.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.~Psalm 34:18

But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more. ~Psalm 71: 14

Please pray for all women who are pregnant after overcoming infertility. The fears do not go away with a positive pregnancy test. If anything, the paranoia only grows as every day they wake up with a prayer of thanks and a desperate plea. Pray that their bodies remain strong, and that God will place His hands on their shoulders and their bellies to keep them safe, and calm their fears.

Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell in safety. ~Psalm 16: 9

Please pray for Brandy and for her mom Kim. Brandy is 6 months pregnant with the baby girl we are adopting. I have never been so impressed with any girl in my entire life. She is so brave and so selfless. Please pray for health and strength for her and for the baby, and please pray for her mother, Kim, who has shown amazing strength and reason. Pray that God will bless them and give them peace and comfort in knowing that we love them and we are excited about extending our family to include them. Please pray for all women who are choosing adoption for their babies. Pray for comfort and peace of mind and pray that God bless them for the amazing gift they are allowing a loving couple to receive. Pray for all couples who are waiting to adopt or who are in the adoption process. Pray that God be with all of us and continue to guide us in the direction of His will.

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.~Psalm 18:32

May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing with hope. ~Romans 15: 13

Put some time aside today, even if it’s a few minutes or 20 minutes. Close the door, close your eyes, dim the lights, light a candle, whatever you need to do to focus and spend some prayerful time with God. Pray for women you know, pray for women you don’t know. Then take some time and pray for yourself. Spend some time reflecting over the past week, over any frustrations you’ve had, whatever you’ve been putting off talking over with God. Get angry if you need to. Cry if you need to. Smile and give thanks if you need to!

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16

This scripture truly is what Prayer Vigil Friday is all about:

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” ~Matthew 18:19-20

Let’s join in one big prayer all day today!

June 3 2011, Prayer Vigil Friday
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Challenge 1 – People Watching

May 31, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 12 Comments

I’ve been cleaning out my closets in preparation for our special new addition and I came across 20 of the prettiest little greeting cards. I must have bought them over two years ago but never used them (I do the same thing with Christmas cards). I know how much it brightens my day to receive any kind of handwritten note so I initially decided that my first Two Week Challenge Project would be to send out thank you cards to people in my life.

But then I decided that was too easy.

The purpose of this project is to step outside my comfort zone and really reach out to people. So, in addition to the thank you cards I really am going to write and send out to people I know, here is…

Challenge 1:

Observe the actions of others over the next two weeks. Have all 20 cards on hand at all times.

Part 1 – If someone is observed performing acts of kindness, or going out of their way to make someone’s day a little brighter, write them a note in one of the cards telling them how much their actions are appreciated and walk up and hand it to them. Do this for 10 people.

Therefore encourage one another and edify one another, just as you are doing. ~1 Thessalonians 5:11

Part 2 – If someone looks like they are having a bad day, are excessively grouchy, or seem lonely, sad or depressed, write them a note telling them they are being prayed for. Make the note relevant to them so they will know someone cared enough to make sure they knew that they mattered. Walk up and hand it to them (unless they’re really mean then just throw it at them and run – no I’m kidding). Do this for 10 people.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.~Joshua 1:9

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. ~Psalm 119:105

Right then, here we go!

1 - People Watching, Challenges
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The Twenty-Six/Two Week Challenge Project

May 30, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 5 Comments

The Two Week Worship website and blog was started with the intention to reach out to women who, like myself, suffer from infertility or difficulties in getting – and staying – pregnant.

All of us endure a torturous two week wait while we obsess and scrutinize over every twinge, swell and tenth of a degree. In order to overcome my own anger and bitter obsessions, I turned my focus on God and in renewing my faith, hope, and trust in His plan for me and my husband. I’ve had to do a lot of traveling for work over the last two months and my husband and I took a much needed vacation last week. We are also still taking steps toward the hopeful adoption of a beautiful baby girl due to arrive in September. With so much going on, I feel like I have lost my focus and momentum and am in desperate need of getting back on the writing track with my Devotionals and Prayer Vigil Fridays.

I’ve sat here looking at my computer screen every evening for the last three days and can’t seem to find the focus to meditate on what my next topic might be. I’ve been inspired lately by several different women creating or becoming involved in blogging projects, and I’ve decided to create one for myself.

I’ve decided to give myself twenty-six two week challenges focused on reaching out and touching the lives of others. That’s one year of hopefully stepping outside my box and challenging myself to continue making a difference in new and unique ways. I’m really excited about it, and a little bit nervous. I really want this to work. So I hope you’ll follow along and please feel free to give me ideas, feedback, or even better – do this with me and share your experiences!

I pray that my actions will make a positive difference in the lives of others and that God will continue to guide me in the direction of His will.

Challenges will go up every two weeks on Tuesdays. Schedule of Two Week Tuesdays are as follows:

Begin: May 31, 2011 – Challenge 1: People Watching

June 14, 2011 – Challenge 2: Waiting on a Prayer

June 28, 2011 – Challenge 3: A Smile and Some Change

July 26, 2011 – Challenge 4: Do It. Change It.

August 9, 2011 – Challenge 5: Who  Am I?

August 23, 2011 – Challenge 6: Love Coming Rushing In

September 6, 2011

September 20, 2011

October 4, 2011

October 18, 2011

November 1, 2011

November 15, 2011

November 29, 2011

December 13, 2011

December 27, 2011

January 10, 2012

January 24, 2012

February 7, 2012

February 21, 2012

March 6, 2012

March 20, 2012

April 3, 2012

April 17, 2012

May 1, 2012

May 15, 2012

May 29, 2012

Complete: June 5, 2012

Looking forward to this challenge and to a great year ahead!

About the Challenge, Challenges
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You Know You’re TTC When… (Part 2)

May 21, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 6 Comments

  1. Everyone but you thinks the April Fool’s pregnancy prank is funny. For the record – it isn’t…it really, really isn’t.
  2. You can’t walk into a bathroom without instinctively reaching for a stick to pee on.
  3. You have a minimum of 5 individuals excluding your husband who are actively trying to get you knocked up.
  4. You have fantasized round-house kicking a minimum of one hundred and thirty-seven women (and counting) whose unsolicited fertility advice began with the words “You just need to…”
  5. You occasionally forget that not everyone is interested in hearing about your uterus.
  6. Women have strategically positioned themselves between you and their toddler in line at Wal-Mart.
  7. You have online friends you’ve never met who know you and understand you better than people you’ve known for most of your life. (I thank God for all of you and pray for each of you.)
  8. You clean out the very top shelf of the bathroom cabinet and throw away no less than five (okay maybe more like seven) empty ept and ovulation kit boxes.
  9. You’ve had some of the best conversations with your husband and/or your twitter buddies while holding your legs in the air for 30 minutes.
  10. You would do anything short of committing murder- wait I take that back – you would commit murder in order to protect your baby names from being used by anyone you know.
Extras, You Know You're TTC II
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It’s Prayer Vigil Friday! 05/20/11

May 20, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 4 Comments

Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me,  for you are God my Savior,  and my hope is in you all day long.~Psalm 25:4-5

I was traveling last week so I wasn’t able to post last Friday. As I spent some time this week catching up on my friends’ news and blog posts, my heart broke for one who briefly experienced the joy of being pregnant, only to have to suffer through a miscarriage less than two weeks later. Please pray for Karyn. She is suffering greatly and is, as it is very natural to feel, terribly depressed, angry and very weary of the future. Please pray that she find just the right comfort and support that will turn her in the direction of the light she so desperately needs to shine on her life right now. We cannot offer answers, but we can offer love and support. Please pray for all women who are experiencing the anger and void left behind by a miscarriage. Pray they find comfort in knowing that God is sitting next to them, His arms wrapped around them, mourning their sadness right along with them.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. ~Matthew 5:4…There must be a time of mourning, there will be a time of anger, but comfort will come. I promise you, it will come.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~John 16:33

A few of my friends had some scares during their pregnancies. The tiniest bit of spotting can be terrifying. A friend in Australia had heavy bleeding for several days. She went to the doctor last week, heard the heartbeat and saw her baby move! They found a cause for the bleeding and the baby is doing fine. Please pray for her and for her baby. Pray for strength, for health, for comfort and for peace of mind.

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.~Psalm 5:11

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.~Psalm 46:1

Pray that God bless all of our friends who are so excited about their pregnancies (we’re excited for them too!), yet still live with that twinge of fear we have all become accustomed to in our struggles. Pray that their bodies remain strong and their babies healthy. Pray for Lis and her twins, Jen, Steph, Nikki, Andrea, El, all women who are pregnant and need a little extra hope and peace of mind.

Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell in safety. ~Psalm 16: 9

Please pray for those of us who are still fighting infertility. Please pray for T as she seeks support for PCOS after suffering a pregnancy loss. Also, please pray for those who counsel pregnant women, all the while suffering inside over their own struggles of not being able to get pregnant themselves.

Therefore, encourage one another and strengthen one another, just as you are doing. ~1 Thessalonians 5:11

Please pray for S. who just recently began taking Clomid. Infertility forces you to re-evaluate your life and your lifestyle and ask yourself what you are willing to do, to go through, and put your body through. That includes testing the limits of your beliefs, your finances and your relationships and these are all very emotional and stressful decisions. Please pray for all women who are facing difficult choices, whether it’s to begin taking fertility drugs, IUI or IVF. There are two women I know who are at least for now, financially, facing their last IVFs. Please pray for Jen and for J. Please pray for their spirits to remain high and hopeful. Please pray that their bodies will respond positively. Please pray that these attempts will be successful!

May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.~Romans 15:13

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken  nor my covenant of peace be removed,”  says the LORD, who has compassion on you.~Isaiah 54:10

Put some time aside today, even if it’s a few minutes or 20 minutes. Close the door, close your eyes, dim the lights, light a candle, whatever you need to do to focus and spend some prayerful time with God. Pray for women you know, pray for women you don’t know. Then take some time and pray for yourself. Spend some time reflecting over the past week, over any frustrations you’ve had, whatever you’ve been putting off talking over with God. Get angry if you need to. Cry if you need to. Smile and give thanks if you need to!

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16

This scripture truly is what Prayer Vigil Friday is all about:

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” ~Matthew 18:19-20

Let’s join in one big prayer all day today!

May 20 2011, Prayer Vigil Friday
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Be Still

May 17, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 14 Comments

Be still and know that I am God. ~Psalm 46:10

Remember being little, when we were always being told to be quiet and sit still?

My dad is a minister. And when I was younger, my dad would preach and my mom would play the organ during church services. That left me and my brother sitting on the front pew alongside the acolytes, in full view of both our parents as well as the congregation. More than once, my brother and I were called out from the pulpit to settle down.

I always joke that Mom and Dad had disciplining us during church down to a science. Dad could start a prayer, ask the congregation for a moment of silent prayer which would cue Mom to begin softly playing a hymn on the organ. Then Dad could come down from the pulpit, drag me or my brother out the side door, scold us, put us back in the pew and be back in the pulpit just in time for The Lord’s Prayer. I still remember snickers from the adults in the pews behind us.

Now that I’m older, I still can’t seem to sit still or keep my mouth shut. And this is a time in my life when I need to do just that.

Twelve days ago I found myself sitting on a bench about 10 miles south of Anchorage, Alaska, looking at a beautiful view of the ocean and the mountains. I just had to find the perfect place to sit and to wait – and to be still. You see, I was waiting to hear from my husband who was, at that very moment, at a doctor appointment with our friend and her daughter – who is pregnant – who has asked if we might be interested in adopting her baby. I wished so much that I was there with them. I know that my husband did too. But there were no doubts – he wanted to be there. If she was going to ask us to be there – then we would be there.

Suddenly a whole new world has introduced itself to us – to our whole family for that matter – and I desperately wanted to be home and to be a part of it.

Wait, let me back up and fill you in:

Eighteen days ago, I had the most precious conversation of my entire life. I was asked if Josh and I would be interested in adopting the baby of a dear friend’s sweet daughter.

Now friends, there have been some times in my life when I have been speechless, and this was NOT one of them. But if it had been my heart talking on the phone rather than my brain filtered voice all she would have heard was a chorus of heavenly voices singing the Alleluia chorus! Instead, I gave her a reserved and teary, “Of course we would,” and Josh followed up with the affirmation that if this is an option we would be given, then we would do everything in our power to make it happen.

Make the most of every opportunity.~Colossians 4:5

With infertility, hope and heartbreak often go hand in hand. It’s an unfortunate fact of life. And now that this window of hope has been opened for us, my heart wants to grasp it and reel it in with all of the excitement and hope I would be feeling if it were my own pregnancy. But I know that I can’t. This is a choice that this brave young girl has to make on her own. But the amazing part is that she has invited us to come to the doctor appointments. She has invited me to come to parenting classes with her. She is allowing me to become part of her experience, and for that, I am so very grateful. The fact that she can think of Josh and I as an option for her baby, and to know that she knows we would love that baby girl with all of the love we could possibly give and that we would extend our family to include her and her family means more to Josh and I than we could ever express.

But, back to the Alaskan wilderness:

Josh called me on his way to the appointment and texted me a couple of times while they were waiting to go in. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was going absolutely crazy being so far away.

So I sat in my rental car and asked God to help me find a safe place to wait for the news. I say “safe” because I knew it would be an emotional phone call and I needed to be somewhere I would feel safe and comfortable to talk.

You will seek me and find me when you seek with all your heart.~Jeremiah 29:13

I drove south of Anchorage until I found a side road leading up a mountain. I drove up the road until I hit a hiking trail. I spied a bench overlooking an amazing view of the ocean and the mountains, grabbed my computer and headed for the bench. I sat there with my computer and waited…and waited…and waited.

I’ve been to the doctor’s office before so I know it’s never a “get in – get out” process, but two hours had passed and all I wanted to do was text Josh  to ask him what was going on.

But I didn’t. Because I knew he would call me the first chance he got.

There was quite a bit of foot traffic up and down the hiking trail and lots of sweet dogs with their owners (I got two big doggy kisses and even a doggy hug as I was anxiously waiting – dogs just know, don’t they? God bless them.).

I suddenly felt led to start walking. I took my computer back to the car and started walking up the trail. I walked for about 10 minutes, keeping an eye on my phone to make sure I wasn’t getting out of range. After I came to a fork in the road, I took the higher trail (fitting) and came up to a big rock. About the time I got there, my phone rang. It was Josh.

I answered.

He told me the appointment had gone well. He heard the heartbeat. He had recorded it for me and had just texted me the file. He had pictures of the sonogram. He took pictures of them and texted them to me as well. He was so very positive about the appointment and about the feeling of the visit. I cried and told him how much I wanted to be there. We talked a little bit longer then we hung up. I’d kept walking the whole time.

Then I received a text message.

I stopped.

On the text message was a “play” button.

I took a big long deep breath and I pressed the button.

“Breath of Heaven, hold me together, be forever near me, breath of Heaven.”~Amy Grant

A heartbeat.

I heard the most beautiful heartbeat. So strong! So fast!

I doubled over and began gasping for breaths of air. Suddenly I was crying and laughing and trying to breathe all at the same time and it was almost suffocating. In one instant I was blanketed in the new life I would be living from that moment forward.

No matter what happens, I will love this child for the rest of my life.

I believe that God led me to that very spot in the Alaskan wilderness – amidst some of the most beautiful scenery I will ever see.

I shared that moment with God because I had followed Him to a secluded place where I would receive the most incredible message of my entire life.

When God has a message for us to receive, we have to follow the path He leads us to. We have to choose to take the higher path that will lead us closer to Him and to the glory and grace to be bestowed upon us.

Follow the path. Stop. Listen to the message He has for you and receive the new life He has in store for you.

Breathe and laugh and cry and live!

While I do not know exactly what the future has in store for me and Josh, I trust in the direction of God’s will for my life and for the life of this child, and I know I am living out every opportunity I am being given to the absolute fullest.

Be still and know – then prepare and live!

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. ~1Peter  1:13

Please pray for me, for Josh, for our friend, but most importantly, pray for this sweet young girl and her tiny baby. Thank you so much for all of your support and prayer.

Be still and know that I am God. ~Psalm 46:10

Just do it now. Right now. Close your eyes and be still. Be still and listen. Be still and smile. Be still and live.

Be Still, Devotionals
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It’s Prayer Vigil Friday! 05/06/11

May 6, 2011 by Carrie-Anne 4 Comments

Friday is here! A day to pray for yourself and for your fellow sisters and unite with women all over the world in prayer.

Therefore encourage one another and edify one another, just as you are doing. ~1 Thessalonians 5:11

Please pray for my dear friend G. She started Clomid and shots this past Monday. Please pray that her body responds well to the drugs, and that no fibroids develop. Their earliest IUI could possibly be Wednesday. We put our bodies through so much. The thought of giving yourself shots is terrifying to some. The anticipation of the follicle scan, when you find out whether or not you have a chance this month, is frustrating. Pray for all women who today, right now, are anticipating their next shot, and waiting with every bit of hope she will allow herself to have, for that next appointment.

My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip or to be moved; He Who keeps you will not slumber. ~Psalm 121:2-3

Please pray for my dear friend Nikki. After years of battling infertility, she is pregnant and her due date is fast approaching. She and the baby are doing well. At Nikki’s last appointment though, she learned that her myometrial lining is very thin, and there is a risk of uterine rupture with the contractions of a vaginal birth. Due to further risk of uncontrollable bleeding if the placenta does not detach, she has been scheduled for a c-section and is being encouraged to consider allowing them to take her uterus during the procedure. Please pray for guidance and assurance.

Do not let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated). You believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely on God; believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely also on Me. John 14:1

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. ~Psalm 119:105

Pray for all women who are pregnant after overcoming infertility. The fears do not go away with a positive pregnancy test. If anything, the paranoia only grows as every day they wake up with a prayer of thanks and a desperate plea. Pray that their bodies remain strong, and that God will place His hands on their shoulders and their bellies to keep them safe, and calm their fears.

Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Please pray for my friend A. Her infertility has caused sadness to settle on her heart as she watches her sister in law experience the joys of pregnancy. Please pray for her. She needs strength. She needs courage. She needs peace. She has such beauty and hope in her heart. Pray that God’s light shine on her, to melt away the sadness. Pray that she looks up and feels the warmth of His loving and understanding smile. We all know the confusion our hearts endure as we watch loved ones, family members and friends, get pregnant and have babies. The mixture of emotions is so hard to process. It’s okay to feel these emotions. You have to allow yourself to process everything you are feeling. Please pray for all women who are right now finding their own strength and balance while supporting expecting loved ones. Hang in there A!

Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. ~Isaiah 60:1

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.~John 14:27

Please pray for B, a sweet young girl who is about five months pregnant. She is considering placing her baby up for adoption – to me and my husband. Please pray for this girl, and for her mom (who we know and love) who right now is scared for her daughter and is doing everything in her power to protect her and guide her. Pray for all of us involved, for our families, for this baby (it’s a girl). Pray for comfort, for peace, and for the joy of a new life! They’ve invited my husband to the doctor appointment today. I am far away in Anchorage and it is so hard for me not to be there. Please pray for all families who are currently in the adoption process, but most importantly, pray for the blessed little babies and children involved. Pray that we all have the peace and courage to accept whatever the outcome may be, and that this path we have all started down is guided by the direction of God’s will for this child.

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.~Psalm 5:11

May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing with hope. ~Romans 15: 13

Put some time aside today, even if it’s a few minutes or 20 minutes. Close the door, close your eyes, dim the lights, light a candle, whatever you need to do to focus and spend some prayerful time with God. Pray for women you know, pray for women you don’t know. Then take some time and pray for yourself. Spend some time reflecting over the past week, over any frustrations you’ve had, whatever you’ve been putting off talking over with God. Get angry if you need to. Cry if you need to. Smile and give thanks if you need to!

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16

This scripture truly is what Prayer Vigil Friday is all about:

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” ~Matthew 18:19-20

Let’s join in one big prayer all day today!

May 06 2011, Prayer Vigil Friday
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