Graceful Balance

This past Thursday morning I had my very first acupuncture visit. Like most times in my life, I scheduled it in even though I really didn’t have time, I left late to get there, I was already a little nervous about what to expect anyway – and it definitely showed.

After sliding into the parking lot Danica Patrick style, I ran (trotted really) to the acupuncturist’s door in heels my husband always tells me not to run in, and as I opened the door, I caught my heel on the welcome mat and fell all the way to the floor just inside the waiting room. Well, my lower half was flat on the floor. I was still hanging onto the handle bar on the door like it was the monkey bars at my old elementary school.

I paused for a minute, trying to think of something witty to say – nothing came to mind. The receptionist raised both of her eyebrows at me and said, “Are you Carrie-Anne?” I nod. “Have a seat please.”

Needless to say, I was a little tense while Dr. Acu was inserting the needles – even more so when he connected the clips and started fine tuning the electrical current. They positioned heat lamps over my feet and over my uterus, turned out the lights and told me to try to relax and just breathe. I was very aware of the needles, very tense, and very uncomfortable for a good part of the time, then finally did start to relax the last 10 minutes or so. I decided I wanted to give it another shot before I really made any decisions as to whether or not I would continue treatment.

This evening was my second appointment. I made it in the evening so that I could go straight home afterward (very good decision). I already knew what to expect and was not apprehensive whatsoever about the needles or even the current. It was just a very soothing, relaxing, pulsing experience. Aaaaahhhh.

This time, instead of thinking about the needles sticking out of me, I took advantage of the time alone in the dark, with my body being encouraged to balance and relax by the gentle pulsing throughout, to pray and to meditate.

The first thing I did was concentrate on the pulses over my uterus. Just a gentle, pulsing sensation. I imagined that must be what it feels like to be kicked by a baby inside a big pregnant belly. It made me smile. I concentrated on my uterus and imagined it a strong, warm and comforting environment – just right to grow a baby inside. I concentrated on the sensations I was feeling and imagined the blood flowing and healing everything I had grown to resent so much over the past years of pregnancy frustrations.

The next thing I did, was pray. I thanked God for the incredibly supportive community of women I have recently discovered. I thanked God for my husband, for my family, for my friends who love me. And I prayed the prayer I have prayed one hundred thousand times, “Lord, please bless Josh and I with a healthy baby. If it is your will, please prepare my body to be a strong and safe environment and bless us with a child.”

Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask, and it shall be given to you.” I believe this. Matthew 7:8, “Seek and you shall find.” I find new things every single day in my journey.

The acupuncturist told me I needed to find my balance. I needed to allow my mind to become a supporting current throughout my body, instead of fighting it so much.

I find this to be very relevant when thinking about my relationship with God. It’s so important that we find our balance with God. We must allow God to become a current throughout our bodies. We should be in a constant state of prayer to ensure that our actions are pleasing, our words are comforting and that every step we take leads us in the direction of His will for us.

Today, I didn’t fight the acupuncture and I didn’t lay there freaking out over the pulsing current. Today I embraced the power to use the pulsing as points of concentration and healing. And I’m so glad I did. I had a very relaxing and pleasing experience, and I am looking forward to my next appointment.